Welcome to Five Course Trivia! Five days a week, we’ll post five questions about something from the culinary world, from soup to nuts and all dishes in between.
I hope you’re prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
1. Despite your directions, it seems Superintendent Chalmers has made it to your luncheon. Knowing you were having a roast for our main course, he brought over a bottle of wine. What type of wine, which takes its name from the third-most populous city of Iran, would be the most appropriate for this pairing?

2. Ye gods! Your roast is ruined! And your oven is on fire! Hopefully you have a fire extinguisher in your kitchen, and have learned the mnemonic PASS – meaning that you should Pull the lockpin, Aim the nozzle at the base, Squeeze the handles together, and what fourth action?

3. After being caught trying to escape to Krusty Burger (which you say was your isometric exercise), you tell Chalmers that the smoke rising from the oven is not smoke, but rather steam from the steamed clams you are about to enjoy. Make sure you impress Chalmers later by telling him this name of the neck of a clam you hold while eating steamed clams. It also shares its name with a tube used for stealing (which seems appropriate giving the following experiences).


4. You save the day by serving up a hefty plate of mouth watering hamburgers (even though you call them steamed hams). They look like the classic burger from Krusty Burger, conveniently found outside of your kitchen window. While Burger King has the Whopper, what burger did McDonald’s create in 1997 to directly compete against the Whopper? The burger was discontinued in 2011.


5. Chalmers has never heard anyone use the term “steamed hams” to refer to hamburgers, which you tell him it’s an Upstate New York expression. Then, he notes he’s from Utica, and has never heard of it, but you tell him it’s more of an Albany expression. Next time, you’ll have to prepare what classic Utica dish featuring chicken, peppers, tomato sauce, and rigatoni noodles?


6. Chalmers is still bothering you that you call the dishes “steamed hams” despite the fact they are obviously grilled. While you don’t have a great answer for this, you tell him that you’re just trying to emulate Ted’s Restaurant in the city of Meriden that is pretty exclusively known for selling steamed hamburgers! In what New England state would you find Ted’s Restaurant?



7. And finally, as Chalmers gets up to leave, he asks what is happening in your kitchen. Instead of saying it’s the burning oven you left on, you tell him it is the aurora borealis. If only it could have been the Canadian whiskey The Northern Lights! The brand is owned by Barton Brands, which is owned by what alcohol conglomerate? HQed near New Orleans, this company takes its name from a New Orleans cocktail made from cognac, absinthe, and a lemon peel.



Well reader, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
ANSWERS BELOW:
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1. Shiraz or Syrah
2. Sweep the nozzle
3. Siphon
4. Big N’ Tasty
5. Chicken riggies
6. Connecticut
7. Sazerac
If you make a quiz about the steamed hams meme, is it itself an example of the steamed hams meme?
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This isn’t a meme. This is what happened when you invited your boss over for a luncheon. That’s why it’s in the second person. This is canon TO YOUR OWN LIFE.
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